It's Relaxing, Right?

My very sweet wife gave me a gift certificate for a massage for our anniversary last September. I finally got around to using it tonight. It's not that I've been putting it off or anything, I've just been a little preoccupied for the past 8 months with a little medical set-back. So I left work early today, picked up the kids, went home and cut the grass (well most of it, and some of it way too short, but that's for a different story) then showered and went to my massage. I was so looking forward to this. I was still sore from working out Tuesday and I've been really stressed at work for the past three weeks. This was going to be just what I needed, one hour of relaxation. I went in to get things started with the lady doing the massage. And of coarse the first thing she says to me is, do you have any particular areas that are giving you any trouble or pain, or are there any medical issues that I need to know about? Hmmmm? It seems that there might be something that has been going on with me. What could it be? Wait, it's on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah - thyroid cancer. So for the next thirty minutes of my total relaxation I get to answer all kinds of questions about my health, my treatment, my surgery, hear about the lady's friend who has a husband that had a benign tumor in his stomach that was the size of a soccer ball, and about how her mom almost died from getting bit by a tick a few years ago. Finally things got quiet and all I could hear was some strange new-wave mandolin music with waves crashing in the background. That was nice, but then she flipped me over and put this warm bean-bag thingy over my eyes. I guess it was supposed to be soothing during the whole process. But it was really kind of weird. I think it was one of those cherry pit filled bags that you can put in the microwave to get warm, but this thing had this strange aroma of chicken flavored ramen noodles. And then before I knew it my hour was over and it was time to get my things together and head home. Even though things were a little strange, I really felt relaxed and peaceful. I probably could have gone to sleep right there on the table if I would have laid there long enough. When I stood up I was so relaxed that I almost fell over putting my socks and shoes back on. I almost felt drunk or something. So I headed home feeling much, much better than when I left and was really thankful for the gift my wife gave me.