Awkward Silence

Lori and I drove separate cars this morning to church. She was meeting a friend for lunch afterwards so I told her it would be easier on her to drive so she didn't have to deal with the logistics of getting us home and then getting to lunch. So Lori and Britton rode together and Haley rode with me. As we made our way up the interstate we fell into an awkward silence. I usually don't mind riding in silence or just listening to the radio, but I've come to realize that I don't have too many more opportunities to spend time with Haley alone. So I broke the silence with a comment about the construction on 85 and soon we were talking about when it would be done. I told her that I thought it should be done in July but it keeps getting delayed for one reason or another so who knows. I guess talking about July got Haley thinking and she asked me about what was coming up with me and the doctors. She wanted to know what the procedure was that I was having in July and what it meant. So, I told her all about the shots I will have to take and the blood work I'll have done to see if the cancer was actually gone or not. I'm always so careful when I talk to Haley about my cancer stuff. I will always tell her the truth about what's going on, but I try and keep the info as upbeat and positive as possible, just to make sure she doesn't worry too much. We soon arrived at church and met up with Lori and Britton and quickly began our morning of worship. During the service I sat there thinking about our drive and I thought to myself how much I hate talking to Haley about cancer. I hate trying to dance around the subject and I hate her having to even think about it. I got lost in a song we were singing and forgot about my hate. But when I went to pick her up in her class after the service was over, I was met by adults in the hallway that told me that they heard from Haley about the good news and how well I was doing. Not to mention they told me about what a great girl she was. I got Haley and headed downstairs and she began to tell me how she was telling her friends about my whole ordeal that started about eight months ago. I soon began to smile because I knew that my break from the awkward silence this morning gave my little girl an opportunity to share about how God had been with our family through all of this and how her attitude about the whole thing could be a wittiness to those around her about how our family deals with the trials of life.