What should I pray for?

So I got to thinking again today. What should I really be praying for? And here is where this started. I have been working on this project for the past few days that has been giving me fits. When I got ready to turn the thing in today I was worried and nervous because it's a pretty big job and the info I have on it hasn't been very clear. So I decided to pray about the job and how I was feeling. And then I started thinking about what I was praying about. Should I really be praying about a project I was working on? Should I really be asking God to bless my efforts and give me wisdom in my decisions? Or should my prayers only be for healing and sickness? Or should I pray about everything that goes on in my life? Should I pray for missing car keys? Should I pray for a computer that isn't working right? Should I pray for guidance in my next financial decision? And after pondering this stuff for a while I came to the conclusion of yes. Yes I should pray about all of the mundane things that go on in my life. Yes I should pray about all of the little things that keep me up at night worrying. Because at the end of the day, prayer is really about talking to God. And I think that God wants nothing more than for us to snuggle up in his lap and tell him about our day, tell him all about what's on our minds and especially tell him what's scaring or worrying us.

Game Night

Last summer we started this thing with my parents where we get together one night during the week eat dinner and then play a board game with the whole family. I'm pretty sure that Haley came up with the idea so she could play some of the games she had been accumulating over the years. Anyway, we really had a great time with it so we re-instituted the weekly gathering again this summer. Last week my mom was on vacation and Lori had a hair appointment so game night was attended by me, Haley, Britton and my dad. We had a lot of fun as usual. We ordered pizza and then played Wits and Wagers. It is a fabulous game that can be played by anyone at pretty much any age. Normally when we play my dad does pretty well because you can arrive at a lot of the answers by applying logic and a little common sense. Haley, however, doesn't fare too well sometimes simply because a lot of the questions are about things she has never ever heard of before. But last week there was a round of play where Haley was kicking our butts. When the game was over me and dad were telling her how great she did. My dad told her, "You won that one all by yourself. We didn't let you win. I don't believe in letting someone win something. That way when you do win, you'll know you did it all on your own." Very wise words from the old man. And that got me to thinking about my life growing up. Sports have always played a big part in my family over the years. Some of my fondest memories growing up include some kind of ball being in motion at my grandpa's, either throwing the football or baseball in the front yard, or playing a game of hoops in the back. And over all of the years of playing with my dad he always beat me at basketball. Always. Did I mention always. It drove me crazy. My dad is 6'4" and played on his high school basketball team. They won the state championship at least once, if not twice while he was on the team. But the funny thing is that my dad couldn't jump. As I mentioned, my dad is 6'4" and when he played in high school he weighed about a buck sixty five. You'd think he could get up and throw it down. Not so. Bad genes I guess. At this point I need to mention that my dad is also one of the smartest people I know. Because of his mental prowess and inability to defeat gravity, he became a very cerebral ball player. His technique was flawless. He was all about the fundamentals and that made him good. And that also made him good for a long time. Because when most people got too old or out of shape to play with their kids, dad could still box out and post up and keep the ball away from the defender when he needed to. And the thing that always amazed me was his hook shot. My dad is left handed and with his size has a pretty big wing span. He could always back me down in the post and shoot that stupid hook shot that banked off the backboard. I could never, and I mean never, block or stop that shot. So growing up, most one-on-one games ended with me frustrated again that the old man showed me up despite my youth and ability. When I got into college I became very active and began working out, running and playing basketball a lot. I got in really great shape, the best of my life. I got pretty quick and could actually jump a little bit. But just a little because I inherited the jumping gene from my dad. So, after hooping it up in pick up games and intramural leagues, I finally decided to challenge my dad in the driveway one weekend. And boy, did I ever put it on him. I think the game was over in record time. So we played again. Same result, I whipped him. Finally after the third time of beating him, he told me he had enough, that it was fun, but he was too old for that anymore. At that moment my elation from finally beating my long time nemesis turned to real sadness. The hero was defeated and an era had come to an end. My dad was "too old for that anymore." He never let me win, he didn't believe in that. I actually beat him. But I quickly wished I hadn't. I wished I could take it back and let him win two out of three instead. But he wouldn't have wanted that either. That was the last time we ever played basketball against each other, just one on one. I miss that time with my dad. It gets me chocked up just finally writing about it even though it's been almost 15 years since that night in the driveway. But sports are still a big part of my family. Dad helped me coach my tee ball team this year. Having him out there with me and my son was one of the greatest experiences of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love my dad. I love him for the man he is. And I love him for the man that I have become because of him.

Community

My church had VBS this week. Haley and Britton both had so much fun. Especially Britton. He came home each day singing the songs and telling us what he had been learning. On Thursday I was riding in the truck with Britton when he informed me that at the end of the week he was going to get to sing on stage for VBS. He told me that he was going to sing on the little stage where we have community. I was a little puzzled by his statement but I soon figured out what he meant. He was going to get up in front of the big sanctuary and sing on the raised part that has the communion table. I was about to correct him and tell him that it's where we have communion and not community, but I thought is was really cute what he said and I let it go. Unfortunately, Britton woke up sick on Friday morning and was unable to go to the last day of VBS. He was crushed, not only because he couldn't go for the last day, but also because he couldn't get up and sing. But he was a real trooper and ended up going to work with me instead. He was very good for me and we ended up having a great day together. All was not lost for Britton though. Today was VBS Sunday where the kids wear their VBS shirts to church and sing for everyone in a combined service in the sanctuary. So Britton got to get up and sing for everyone, even on the little stage where we have community. And later in the service as we sat in the pews and took communion I realized my little buddy was so very right. Each week when we take a few minutes to remember the broken body and shed blood of Jesus we are part of a special community of God's children. And it makes me smile to think just how right my son was, even though he doesn't even know it.

It's Relaxing, Right?

My very sweet wife gave me a gift certificate for a massage for our anniversary last September. I finally got around to using it tonight. It's not that I've been putting it off or anything, I've just been a little preoccupied for the past 8 months with a little medical set-back. So I left work early today, picked up the kids, went home and cut the grass (well most of it, and some of it way too short, but that's for a different story) then showered and went to my massage. I was so looking forward to this. I was still sore from working out Tuesday and I've been really stressed at work for the past three weeks. This was going to be just what I needed, one hour of relaxation. I went in to get things started with the lady doing the massage. And of coarse the first thing she says to me is, do you have any particular areas that are giving you any trouble or pain, or are there any medical issues that I need to know about? Hmmmm? It seems that there might be something that has been going on with me. What could it be? Wait, it's on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah - thyroid cancer. So for the next thirty minutes of my total relaxation I get to answer all kinds of questions about my health, my treatment, my surgery, hear about the lady's friend who has a husband that had a benign tumor in his stomach that was the size of a soccer ball, and about how her mom almost died from getting bit by a tick a few years ago. Finally things got quiet and all I could hear was some strange new-wave mandolin music with waves crashing in the background. That was nice, but then she flipped me over and put this warm bean-bag thingy over my eyes. I guess it was supposed to be soothing during the whole process. But it was really kind of weird. I think it was one of those cherry pit filled bags that you can put in the microwave to get warm, but this thing had this strange aroma of chicken flavored ramen noodles. And then before I knew it my hour was over and it was time to get my things together and head home. Even though things were a little strange, I really felt relaxed and peaceful. I probably could have gone to sleep right there on the table if I would have laid there long enough. When I stood up I was so relaxed that I almost fell over putting my socks and shoes back on. I almost felt drunk or something. So I headed home feeling much, much better than when I left and was really thankful for the gift my wife gave me.

Awkward Silence

Lori and I drove separate cars this morning to church. She was meeting a friend for lunch afterwards so I told her it would be easier on her to drive so she didn't have to deal with the logistics of getting us home and then getting to lunch. So Lori and Britton rode together and Haley rode with me. As we made our way up the interstate we fell into an awkward silence. I usually don't mind riding in silence or just listening to the radio, but I've come to realize that I don't have too many more opportunities to spend time with Haley alone. So I broke the silence with a comment about the construction on 85 and soon we were talking about when it would be done. I told her that I thought it should be done in July but it keeps getting delayed for one reason or another so who knows. I guess talking about July got Haley thinking and she asked me about what was coming up with me and the doctors. She wanted to know what the procedure was that I was having in July and what it meant. So, I told her all about the shots I will have to take and the blood work I'll have done to see if the cancer was actually gone or not. I'm always so careful when I talk to Haley about my cancer stuff. I will always tell her the truth about what's going on, but I try and keep the info as upbeat and positive as possible, just to make sure she doesn't worry too much. We soon arrived at church and met up with Lori and Britton and quickly began our morning of worship. During the service I sat there thinking about our drive and I thought to myself how much I hate talking to Haley about cancer. I hate trying to dance around the subject and I hate her having to even think about it. I got lost in a song we were singing and forgot about my hate. But when I went to pick her up in her class after the service was over, I was met by adults in the hallway that told me that they heard from Haley about the good news and how well I was doing. Not to mention they told me about what a great girl she was. I got Haley and headed downstairs and she began to tell me how she was telling her friends about my whole ordeal that started about eight months ago. I soon began to smile because I knew that my break from the awkward silence this morning gave my little girl an opportunity to share about how God had been with our family through all of this and how her attitude about the whole thing could be a wittiness to those around her about how our family deals with the trials of life.

Glad It's Friday

Boy am I glad this week is almost over. I am mentally drained. Not from any medical crap, just work crap. I'm looking forward to the weekend and getting some rest. But as crazy as things have been at work, I can say that they could have been much worse. I could tell that God was working right along with me helping me though the week. Looking back on it it's kind of cool to stop and reflect. Projects got delayed that bought me more time to work on them and fix things that needed fixin'. Other projects were cancelled all together freeing up time for me to work on more important issues. And people were available in the office that usually weren't to provide me some help and support. It's just another example of how you can look to the Lord for guidance and strength to get you through whatever you may be facing. But there was one thing I did try hard to do this week. Keep fighting. There were times that I felt that what I had in front of me was going to be utterly overwhelming and that there was no way that I could get it done. But I made up my mind that I wasn't going to sit around and worry about it (which is a huge deal for me, by the way) and I wasn't going to try and find an easy way out. No matter what, I was going to lean on God through it all. And because of that God helped me every step of the way. It seemed that the harder I worked the smoother things went. Not because I did anything different or spectacular, just that little things happened that made it all okay. And as I saw those little things happen I became encouraged and wanted to push through to the end. It has made me realize that no matter what we face in life, medical problems, relationship problems, work problems, even money problems, we need to be willing to jump right in the middle of whatever it is and work at it. And I mean really work at it. Even if we're not sure that what we're doing is the best thing for the situation at least be willing to try. Because if we do, God will put in just as much effort as we will. He won't let us down if we look to Him for guidance and strength. It reminds me of the Israelites getting ready to cross the Jordan and take their promised land. They were facing large armies and strong kingdoms, but God told them in Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." I'm pretty sure that can be applied to pretty much everything in our lives today.

Swimming Up Stream

Have you ever tried to swim up stream? I mean really, really tried to swim against a strong current that's trying to push you in the other direction. It's hard. And dangerous. I've never been swept away by a raging rapid by any stretch of the imagination, but there was one time I found myself in a struggle with a large body of water. When I was younger my dad took me to Whitewater for a day of wet, wild fun. I did all of the slides, the lazy river and the like. Where I got into trouble was getting in the big lake, pool, concrete beach thingy that's in the middle of the park. As you can see, it's been a really long time since I've been there, because I can't remember the stupid things name. Anyway, there is a really deep end to the thing where most people get into inner tubes and float around and socialize. Dad wouldn't rent the tube. So, I thought I would just get in and swim. I thought it would be cool to swim from one side to the other, dodging all the inner tubes bobbing in the water. I managed to accomplish this once. Then I had to get back to the other side from where I started. About half way there I hear a horn sound and then all of a sudden the waves started getting bigger and bigger. And for a little kid, they were really big. By the time I finally got to the other side and tried to get to the ladder to get out, I was exhausted. It seemed like I kept swimming and swimming and never could get out. The waves were so big that they kept carrying me up and down so far that I couldn't grab the ladder. It just seemed to drop out of sight. And always just out of my reach. After what seemed like an eternity the waves stopped and I was able to finally get out and catch my breath. Where am I going with all this? An episode like that in your life can make you feel pretty insignificant against the power of God's creation. A person can decide to take a particular path in life and come hell or high water, high water in my case, they are going to get there. And that's okay. But is that path really what God wants for us? Is there a better path, or a different path, or is there a weird nonsensical path that God wants us to meander down? The answer is yes. If you've ever tried struggling against a current or a wave or a hill or a slide, have you ever just let yourself go so that you flow in the natural direction? It's so much easier. But sometimes that's not the direction you intended on going. That's okay. I've begun to realize that if you trust in God and just let go of the things that you are holding onto so tight and let your life flow with the direction He wants to take you, the ride can be quite amazing and fulfilling. No way no how did I ever think I would end up with cancer at the age of 33, but if God hadn't have put that path in my life I would have missed out on some pretty cool things and a boatload of blessings. Don't ever quit swimming, just quit trying to swim up stream.

How to minister to others - Part 3

So Ive been thinking on my mini-series about ministering to others in everyday real terms. This brings me to my third installment. And I think that this one might be the most difficult one yet, but at the same time, one of the simplest. Here goes. If you say it, mean it. And this is a two parter. Part one is this. People get all cleaned up, pile the family in the minivan and head to the ol' meetin' house on Sunday morning. They sit attentively in Sunday School, some-what attentively during the sermon, sing some hymns and most of all socialize with other believers. And during that social time everyone puts on their "Church Face" and seem real loving and concerned about everyone that they meet in the hallway. But ya know, that's usually about as far as it goes. Being a good Christian that loves their neighbor and is willing to give you the shirt of their back is real easy for about three hours a week. It's the other 165 hours that remain that are usually reserved for work, taking the kids to dance recitals, grocery shopping and being generally all around too busy to give a damn. Well I say, if you can say it on Sunday you need to be able to do it on Monday. Or any other day of the week. What a novel idea for you to actually put all the Jesus stuff into practice in your everyday life. And for tips on doing that, please refer to my previous two posts. Now part two. One of the things that absolutely drives me crazy is to hear a press release after a terrible tragedy or an unexpected death of an athlete or public figure and someone says drops the cliche', "Our thoughts and prayers are with the family." Really? Now don't get me wrong, I know that people are concerned and actually do care when disaster strikes a family or community, but are they really stopping and getting on their knees and talking to God? And how many times do you get on the phone with a friend or a co-worker and they tell you about a really difficult time they are going through and you reply, "Well, I'll be praying for you." Or you meet in a small group book club or bible study and everyone takes a few minutes and goes around the room to bring up their prayer requests. And everyone sighs and listens and shakes their heads as people share what's on their hearts and a list is made and that's about the last time anyone ever thinks about it again. Believe me, I'm guilty of all of this. But because of the medical drama that I have been going through this last six month, I have had so many people tell me that they are praying for me. And that has really made this so much easier on me and my family. But then one day I thought, are they really praying? Do I actually really pray for the people I say that to? Do I ever say a prayer for the people that send out email updates on missionaries, or the people that post pleas on Facebook about the loss of a job or a loved one? Do I ever actually mean what I say? So I have tried to make it a point lately to actually stop what I am doing and take a few seconds to actually pray for the people that I come in contact with each and every day. And do you know how much of my daily schedule I have to rearrange to fit in all of this special praying that I am doing? NONE. I just take a few seconds to lift the people up to my God in a quick, simple prayer. And do you know what? I feel great doing it. And I'm pretty sure that the people on the other end do as well. And it allows me to connect with God on a personal level during my crazy and hectic day. So minister to others by simply saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

How to minister to others - Part 2

I had an opportunity today to figure out another way to minister to others. I guess this is the second installment to a several part blog post. I'm not sure how many installments there will be, I guess I'll have to see how my week goes. Anyway, back to Part 2. This one is not as blunt as the first, but it's still pretty direct. Here goes. Shut your pie hole. Again, pretty simple but effective. And what do I mean? I mean just that, shut your pie hole. There are countless opportunities that we run across everyday where the people in your life are struggling with overwhelming problems. But most of the time we use the short lived interactions with those people, be it a relative, a co-worker, or fellow church member, to vomit forth all of the baggage and boredom that consumes our lives onto anyone that will just sit still for more than two minutes. Well I've come to realize that it's not all about me. People are hurting and are desperate to have a shoulder to cry on, or at least have an ear that's willing to listen for a little while. I was having a pretty crappy morning at work and was up to my you-know-what in stuff when I found myself sitting at my co-worker Tim's desk. We were trying to tell each other what we each knew about a particular project when I asked him how his mother was doing. She had suddenly become ill at work one day with some kind of ruptured blood vessel near the spleen about a week and a half ago. The doctors still had no idea what caused the rupture or how to fix it. As Tim began to recount all the details about his mom and her ordeal, I thought to myself, I really don't have time for this. I've got so much work I should be doing now, I really don't have time for this. But as Tim talked about him mother's illness and how lucky she was to be alive, his story slowly shifted from her being sick to her job as a nurse and then on to how she became a nurse. He told me of how his mom was barely 16 when he was born, was kicked out of her house by her dad, how the sperm donor hit the road, and how she had to work three jobs to pay the bills. She busted her tail to get her kids grown and out into the real world and then went back and got her GED. She then went to school to become a dental hygienist. She didn't like that career so she studied to be a nursing assistant. She excelled at that and then took it a step further. She is now a registered nurse and is highly thought of at the hospital she works. I tell all of this for two reasons. First, Tim's story to me went from uncertainty and worry to a real sense of pride and accomplishment. As he talked he began to smile and his countenance brightened. Second, It also let me into a side of his life that I didn't know, which told me a little about why he is the way he is. We all have a story that makes us who we are, and now I know a little more about Tim's. And all of this would have been missed if I hadn't sat down, put aside my busy morning and shut my pie hole. As we go through our busy days with our meetings and projects and play dates and hectic schedules, I think we all need to just shut our pie holes for a few minutes, take the spotlight off of ourselves for a while and listen to the people around us who are desperate for a quiet and attentive friend to lean on and share with.