All Packed And Ready To Go

At work today my boss told me of a family he heard about going through an unbelievably horrible time. While the family was vacationing in Yellow Stone they decided to go rafting in the Snake River. During a break the seven year old son got caught up in some rapids and was being pulled away from the group. The dad jumped in and saved his son and in the process was himself swept away and has not been found yet. The boy is beside himself and unwilling to leave the park where he last saw his dad. During our conversation, my boss looked at me and asked me if I had everything in order since you never know when it's your last moment. I knew what he meant. And actually the answer came to me with ease. Yes. First off, I know who my Lord and Savior is, Jesus Christ. And I believe that He is the Son of the Living God and through Him I will have eternal life. My answer came back to my boss with what appeared to be surprising quickness. Then I told him that since the whole cancer thing I have been forced to take a hard look at myself and all of my relationships. He told me that he had been thinking and he didn't kiss his son this morning because he was still asleep or even pet his dog. We both stood and thought about how quickly life can be taken away. I told him about the morning I went in for my surgery to remove my thyroid. My wife and I both took our kids to school that morning. I teared up in the driveway of the school as I watched those two beautiful children walk innocently into the school's front door. I made a very clear mental note of what they looked like because I realized that what I was seeing very well could have been the last image of my kids. I find myself doing more things like that. Not because I live my life in fear of death but because I realize how important things like that are to me. I try very hard to always tell my wife that I love her when we hang up on the phone even if I'm in the middle of meeting with a bunch of construction workers. It could be the last time either one of us ever say that to each other. I try to hug and kiss both my kids every morning and every night and tell them that I love them. I want to make sure that they hear that from me every day. It's just the little things like hugs and kisses that help me make sure that I have all my stuff packed and ready to go where ever my life might take me.

The Diet

As some of you know, I've been put on a low iodine diet to get me ready for my upcoming body scan. My body needs to be craving iodine so that the radioactive iodine tracer pill that I will take will be gobbled up by any (and hopefully none) remaining thyroid cells. So the doctor put me on a diet for effectively 4 weeks that pretty much eliminates any iodine from my diet. I won't bore you with all the details of the diet but basically I can't eat anything but fresh fruits and vegetables and a little meat that's been cooked at home without iodized salt. I was actually looking forward to starting the diet because I thought it would be a much needed cleansing of my insides. I've gotten kind of fluffy lately and not having a thyroid has made losing weight a little harder. Anyway, the diet started last Monday. My very sweet wife made it her mission to find healthy and creative meals to feed us every evening and bought me good stuff to take to work and eat. I've really enjoyed everything she's made so far. I rocked right along during the week thinking that this was going to be a piece of cake, not to mention I was dropping some pounds in the process as well. And then the weekend showed up. Since it was our first time ever eating all of our meals at home and not just running out for a quick dinner, we didn't shop for enough stuff to cook and actually ran out of stuff to make. Good problem to have but still a problem. So for our Friday night meal we decided to go out to eat with my dad at the only place we could think of that I could eat. We went to this salad place in Peachtree City and it's really pretty good. Except for the fact that I can't actually eat any salad dressings that I like. So my salad with oil and vinegar was pretty sparse and not very appetizing, but what are you going to do. Then Saturday rolled along and all I have to say is, just damn. We took our kids to Chick-fil-A for a treat for being such good troopers with the menu this week. They had nuggets and fries and I had a fruit cup with rotten grapes. So then after a few errands we had to go grocery shopping to stock up for the week. By this time it had been about 24 hours since I had eaten any real protein or anything with any substance. Walking through the grocery store looking at aisle after aisle of crap that I couldn't eat was making me hungry. And I mean really hungry. Like hungry enough to get a second helping of the Swedish meatballs at church on Wednesday night hungry. Hungry enough to eat green bean casserole. Hungry. And now I was getting really irritated too. I'll admit it, I was a big ole grumpy bitch. And we were shopping at Publix in Tyrone, which I hate. I hate that store. So now I'm hungry and in a pissy mood and trapped in a place that I hate. I could have blown a gasket at any moment. But, my wife was very tolerant and sympathetic to my situation and when we got home she made me some guacamole and cut up some fresh watermelon for me to eat. Then a little later she made some chicken for an early afternoon snack. That really helped a lot. So here I sit on a Saturday night craving a big greasy pizza with lots of meat and cheese but realizing that what I'm going through will all be worth it in the end. At least on this diet I can drink beer. So here's to a sweet wife and homemade guacamole. I'm heading to the fridge for a cold one.

The Beach

We just got back from the beach on Saturday. We stayed about a week in Panama City Beach and had an absolute blast. One evening as the sun began to set we all went out on the beach and walked around and looked for shells. The best shells we could find were never just laying out in the open where they could be easily picked up. All the really good ones seemed to be in the water about six inches below the surface. Because of this the waves were constantly tossing them around. You had to stay pretty focused on the waves, or at least the break in the waves, to see the big ones worth picking up. And every so often a rogue wave would come rushing in before we could get out of the way and completely soak us. Not that it mattered much, it was just one of the hazards of the hunt. As I looked for the shells I would thrust my hand down at what appeared to be good sized shells. Sometimes I came up with a really good one that was all in one piece and worth keeping. Sometimes it was part of a broken sand dollar or hunk of barnacle that wasn't really good for anything but seeing how many times I could skip it along the waves before it disappeared. As this activity continued I found myself walking farther and farther down the beach away from our condo. As I would find a shell or two in one spot I was compelled to move to a different location. It soon dawned on me that what I was doing was just plain silly. Why did I fell the need to keep moving? Had I actually found ALL of the shells worth keeping in that particular location? Was that now considered barren land after my bountiful harvest of empty critter homes? Surely I must move on to a much "better" place to find the good shells (Insert punchline from the movie Airplane here). My mind soon drifted off and I began to think about how what I was doing with the shells mimicked what I do in my regular day to day life. I always find myself meandering along looking for the next whole "thing" to collect or save. I seem to be constantly looking for the next fancy trinket to end up in a worthless box in a closet somewhere. All the while I've just wandered away from what really matters. God probably looks down at me as I look for the shells and chuckles to himself. He knows exactly what's there for me to find. He also knows that there's more there than I could ever want, need or stuff into my wave soaked shorts. He's probably thinking, "Why are you still searching? Don't you know I've provided all you will ever need? Just stand still and be patient. It's all right there at your feet if you'll just work at it." And that's something I need to remember each and every day, not just while standing on the beach with a pocket full of shells.

1 hr 5 min 20 sec

I ran the Peachtree Road Race for the first time this year in 1 hour 5 minutes and 20 seconds. I finally accomplished something that I have wanted to do for a long, long time. And it took getting cancer for me to get off my butt to do it. But the funny thing is, oddly enough, getting cancer has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. I know that it sounds crazy to put the words blessing and cancer in the same sentence, but that's how I feel. I've been able to grow closer to God, enjoy a deeper and more satisfying relationship with my wife and kids, see how much my friends and family love me. I've faced my fears and changed the way I approach problems in my life. A few years ago a friend of mine asked a question to a group of us. She asked us if we had any regrets in life. I thought about it for a second and then responded with a short answer. No. I have no regrets. I feel this way because I realized that everything that has ever happened to me in my life has shaped me into the person I am today. And if at any point along the way something would have happened differently then I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have my wonderful wife or my great kids or the friends that I hold so dear to my heart. I realized that God has had a special plan for me and for my life and yes, that has included thyroid cancer. And I am so thankful for that and for where it has and will take me. And I know that next year it will take me 6.2 miles down Peachtree in less than 50 minutes.